Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
