We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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