i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
