Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
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