Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
