I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
