And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Kiss
Puke
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
