Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
True strength comes from lack of pants
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
