I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
