He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
