I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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