Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
