I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
