i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize