dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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