i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
