Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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