You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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