i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
