everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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