Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
