I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He did a backflip because drugs
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