She is in my trunk
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
