Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
