if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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