i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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