If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm bleeding and have questions
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
