You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
this hospital has no fireball
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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