it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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