We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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