I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
