420 ftw
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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