smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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