Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
