Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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