Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
