well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize