Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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