It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
