Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
