Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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