it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
