I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize