Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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