then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
