what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
