tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
