She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
