'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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