I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
