whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
