Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
