She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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