The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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