Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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